How Hard Can It Be?
by Supernova95
Summary: How do you say "I love you" to the guy you have almost killed on multiple occasions? Jason had gone for flowers, chocolate, Linkin Park CDs and root beer.


**Some JayTim for Redundantthinking on Tumblr**

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The door in font of him was currently more scary than all the times Jason had seen the Batglare combined.

How do you say "I love you" to the guy you have almost killed on multiple occasions? Jason had gone for flowers, chocolate, Linkin Park CDs and root beer (Jason had asked Dick and Alfred what Tim liked). He hoped it would be enough when accompanied by a sincere apology and maybe a heartfelt talk.

He had planned it all out:

1) Wait for Tim to get home from work  
2) Approach door with items in a basket  
3) Knock on door  
4) Tim answers door (hopefully door is not slammed in face)  
5) Talk (either inside or in doorway, depends if Tim let's him in or not)  
6) Tim gives answer

Then if Tim says yes Jason *will* kiss him. And if he says maybe or no, then Jason will go back to his apartment and down the six pack he bought earlier. There, foolproof. Thought he was struggling a bit at number three; knock on the door. The big and surprisingly scary door of his repla- of Tim, his younger brother by nothing but law, and even then it was dubious what with his death and other, complications.

Geez why was knocking on a door so difficult. He hadn't even bucked up the courage when it swung open.

Tim was honest to God surprised to see him, and actually flinched backwards when he moved forward in an attempt to say something. He deserved it really.

"To what do I owe the pleasure Jason?" His voice was indifferent and apathetic he looked as though he neither cared, nor wanted to care about what Jason had to say. Jason's heart immediately plummeted.

"Tim, I, I was wondering if I could come in?" The younger teen narrowed his eyes at him, but eventually shrugged and stepped back making room for him to enter the apartment. It was still, however, a squeeze due to his apology basket, something that Tim couldn't help but notice.

"Jason? What is that?" Tim nodded to the overflowing, ancient weaves wood, goody bag.

"This? It's, well it's kinda a sorry. I've been really mean to you since I came back and I wanted to apologise for it." Tim took the basket, smiling at the traditional chocolate and flowers, probably about to make a snarky comment that Jason again probably would have deserved, but his mouth snapped shut at the sight of the Linkin Park CD.

"Jay, how did you know?" He held the CD, almost cradling it in his arms.

"I asked Alfred, he said you had all their CDs but the newest, and Dick gave me the heads up about root beer being your favourite drink so..." Tim looked at him, studied everything about him, everything he was laying bare at that moment.

"You're really serious, aren't you?" A pained whine escaped his throat.

"Not just about that." They cracked open the root beer and sat down on a sofa drinking in an almost comfortable silence before Tim turned to him and said,

"Explain" plain, simple, direct. Just like Tim.

"It took me a long time to realise but I think the real reason I tried to kill to kill you so much when I came back was because I was jealous. I mean yes I was angry, I had just come back to life, seriously disorientated and angry as hell at Bruce for not killing the Joker after everything he's done; and when Talia showed me pictures, proof that he had taken I another Robin I guess I couldn't take it along with everything else, and I took my anger out on you.

"But really, in reality, I was just so jealous, those photos, that proof Talia have me, showed me that there was another person who could be Robin, and not just on a par with me, but better than me. There was a Robin that fitted with Bruce in ways that I never could, I never had many brains to go with my brawn. At least not like you do.

"And I was just so angry at that, I thought you had stolen Bruce away from me, I thought Bruce had forgotten me. I was jealous of you and my way of dealing with it was trying to prove that I was still better than you and I did that by attempting to punch you into oblivion.

"So, yeah. I'm sorry Tim." Throughout his speech his hands were resting solidly in his lap, his eyes fixed on the joining between his thumb and palm, waiting for Tim's rejection.

It took a while but Tim finally spoke up, "You were the Robin"

"Wait, what?" Tim was looking down at his lap,

"You were the Robin, for me."

"But Dick..."

"I discovered your identities from a move Dick pulled, but he stopped being Robin about a month after that; then you took over." Tim said it with finality, as though that would explain everything. Or maybe that was always how Tim was as he soon carried on. "It was you who I followed, who I took pictures of.

"It was you who I was always trying to look up to, who I was trying to be like. Because Bruce didn't want Tim Drake Robin, he wanted Jason Todd son, partner, solider. I was just there because he was falling into insanity without you." He couldn't help but laugh, a short sweet bark. Tim's attention was on him almost accusingly. Jason merely settled down more into the sofa and replied as nonchalantly as he could,

"You do know the old man can't stop talking about you right? Especially since he got back and I... stopped trying to kill everyone. Well at least as far as I know, probably longer, in fact that's probably why the Demon Brat hates you so much." Tim obviously hadn't known anything about it, what with his look of disbelief.

"What?"

"Bruce, keeps going on about you... You know, Tim this, Tim that... Why can't you be more like Tim, Tim would have this done in about half the time." That was probably the wrong way to say it because Tim immediately looked horrified

"I'm sorry, I... He shouldn't talk about me like that, I'm-"

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why shouldn't Bruce talk about you like that? It's not even as if he's embellishing the facts. If we were more like you this whole shindig would run a lot smoother." Tim smothered a laugh with his fist

"Yeah, I'm sure it would be great having a whole group of deathly serious people protecting our fine city with enough childhood and mid-teen trauma to sink a battleship and OCD worse than Alfred's. Plus if he's trying to get Damian onto the side of the no-kill fence, going on about me isn't going to help, and to be perfectly honest I'm not worth it." Tim said it so lightheartedly that it was hard to tell of he was joking or if that's what he thought was the truth. Either way it made Jason sit up that little but straighter and lean in that little bit more as his heart broke into about a thousand little pieces. It was only after a minute or so that he noticed he was staring at Tim with his brow furrowed and head cocked to one side.

"You really believe that, don't you?"

"That I'm deadly serious, have enough trauma to sink a battleship and have OCD worse than Alfred's? Because I don't know where you've been, but that kinda pretty much sums up my life"

"No not that" he shook his head narrowing his eyes a little more "you really believe that you're not worth anything."

"What? I... I..." he could see the cogs in Tim's brain trying to come up with a reasonable explanation, and coming up short "I mean, I'm under no illusions that I can fight well, because I know I'll never be as good as you guys, and I mean I'm pretty sure B's really only keeping me around for when he and O have a fight and he needs technical support, though Alfred is more than capable and..."

Jason had been given this talk by Dick just after he tried to kill Tim for the second time. It was the 'Tim's actually really insecure he's just really good at hiding it' talk that Jason hadn't believed because he had fought the Babybird and the little kid had stayed defiant throughout. But he guessed that was the 'Robin Tim' the Tim who was expected to be bossy, headstrong, like Jason would be...

But this Tim... Is actually Tim. This cardigan waring, feet shuffling, shy, insecure... He want's to say kid, but Tim really isn't. This is the man he fell in loved with, and Jason really wouldn't have it any other way.

Because even tough Tim is insecure and doesn't think he's worth anyone's time of day he can be frickin scary when he wants to be. He can be... He is strong and caring and smart and damn hot and absolutely perfect in every way that Jason can't imagine what possessed him to ever hate Tim in any way, shape or form.

That must have been another person entirely because now he can't imagine a world with Tim gone, he can't imagine not running round the rooftops every night *trying* to find where Tim's patrolling just so he can see him, make sure he's alive.

He can't imagine a world where he wouldn't go to extreme lengths to hurt anyone who merely glances at Tim the wrong way.

It scared him, it excited him, it was sometimes too much to handle in secret; but he was definitely totally head over heels in love with Tim.

So as Tim started going on about how everyone else was better than him Jason closed the gap between them, reached over and cupped the younger man's chin.

"Stop. Please just stop. Stop putting yourself down all the time. You are perfect in every way. Bruce talks about all the time because he doesn't see you enough, even I'm at the manor more than you these days. He misses you. He values you, you're his son for goodness sake. Alfred misses you and your chess games. I know Dick needs his little brother like a fish needs water... And we're still working on Damian but heh..." Tim had noticed his deliberate omission,

"What about you?" Tim whispered. They were no more than a breath apart, inches from each other and Jason found himself gazing into Tim's ice blue eyes with a mixture of love and lust (or was it the same thing).

He didn't answer but leaned forward more to capture Tim's lips in a soft and caressing kiss.

He felt relief wash over him as Tim kissed back, relief that was soon a mixture of ecstasy and panic as he realised Tim was kissing back. Was that obligation? Did he want this? Did he want Jason? They broke apart and Jason ran his thumb over Tim's cheek.

"I love you. More than anything in this world." He gazed at Tim in hope, his expression exposing him to anything and everything. Tim looked at him for a moment in disbelief before smiling and leaning up to kiss him again.

"I've loved you since I was about ten years old."

"I tried to kill you..." He was in shock, only a person in shock would bring something like that up at a moment like this

"Jason cut yourself some slack... You had just *come back from the dead*, things like that take a lot out of you" Tim was laughing at him and his shock, he could feel the soft tremors running though his chest. Tim leant up so that their foreheads were touching and smiled before stealing another kiss.

One thing was for sure Jason wouldn't be needing that six pack tonight.


End file.
